Don't Call Me That
by harem98
Summary: A series of Ken x Uno drabbles or short ficlets. 3: Do you think he really knows, or cares, for that matter, about the differences between cancer and TB?
1. Don't Call Me That

**Title:** Don't Call Me That

**Characters:** Unohana Retsu, Zaraki Kenpachi and a little Kotetsu Isane

**Rating:** PG

**Word Count:** 1,037

**Summary:** Kenpachi finds himself in the 4th division yet again and will see no one but Unohana.

* * *

"U- Unohana-taichou?" 

The dark haired shinigami lowered the cup of tea in her hands and turned to face the source of the voice. Isane stood in the doorway that led from her captain's room to the outside porch that encircled most of the fourth division building.

"Zaraki-taichou and several others from the eleventh division have just been brought in. They were doing exercises again, today and… and Zaraki-taichou… H- He's…" Isane stuttered to a stop.

"He's what, Isane?"

The tall vice-captain hunched over, suddenly finding the floor terribly interesting. "He's asking for you, Unohana-taichou."

Letting a small sigh pass between her lips, Unohana laid her teacup on the wooden planks before her and stood. "Where is he?"

"I- In Ward 46. I told him I could heal him… He's really not that bad off, but he… He wanted you, Unohana-taichou…" Isane explained, her voice trailing off at the end.

Unohana moved past her vice-captain, back into the fourth division building. She glided through her room and into the halls, intent on Ward 46. Isane followed closely behind Unohana, shoulders still hunched, but now in attempt to match the height of her shorter captain.

Zaraki Kenpachi had always been a frequent visitor to the fourth division, but it was only recently that he had taken to asking for Unohana whenever he needed mending. Everyone in the fourth division was capable of taking care of the man, but according to him, they were all too clumsy and nervous. They had good reason, of course. The man was intimidating, and sometimes terrifying. Even the vice-captain, Isane, quailed slightly at the thought of having to heal the lumbering captain of the eleventh division.

And when neither Unohana nor Isane were available to the mend the broken giant, the rest of the fourth argued over who to send to him, usually drawing straws to determine who the unlucky healer was going to be. And somehow, even when he drew the longest straw, Hanatarou always ended up being the unlucky one.

It was Hanatarou that Kenpachi despised most of all. The little healer was good at what he did, yes, but he was so weak in Kenpachi's eyes, and it was rare that Hanatarou could speak a whole word without stammering all or part of it out.

Once, after a particularly long battle with a Hollow, Kenpachi had come in more irritated than injured. Hanatarou was once again assigned to his care, Unohana and Isane being preoccupied with those more seriously injured in the fray. The tall captain had always found it hard to keep his patience with the shaky healer, but the near loss with the Hollow had him on edge, and it wasn't long before any form of tolerance he had disappeared. Kenpachi's roars could be heard several buildings away. Hanatarou had all but i flown /i from the room. Since then, Kenpachi had refused all medical care unless it came from the head of the fourth division herself, no matter how long he had to wait for her to be available.

Unlike the rest of her division, Unohana's touch was soft, calm, and assured. Her hands never shook when she was applying a salve or wrapping a bandage around a newly acquired battle wound. She was the only one who didn't stutter or quake in his presence. And this intrigued him to no end.

Unohana navigated the halls of her division easily, Minazuki beating a rhythm against her back with each step. Stopping just outside the door to Ward 46, she turned to Isane.

"Please, go and see to the rest of the eleventh division, Isane." She glanced at the closed door. "I will deal with Zaraki-taichou and then join you."

The tall girl dipped into a small bow, turned on her heel, and retreated down the hallway from whence they came. Unohana smiled as she watched the height-conscious Isane continue in her slump, even with no one else in the hall to compare her height with.

She opened the door to Ward 46, entered the room, and shut it behind her just as quietly as she had opened it. Kenpachi was alone in the room, occupying the middle bed. Unohana was surprised to see him lying back. He was twitching, obviously anxious to get out of the fourth division building, but he was lying down, nonetheless.

"Zaraki-taichou…" she said, approaching the side of the bed.

Kenpachi raised himself up on his elbows. "How many times do I have to tell you to stop calling me that?" Unohana always addressed everyone with honorifics, a sign of respect. But as many times as Kenpachi had been in the halls of the fourth division, and as many time as Unohana had healed him, he didn't understand why she didn't just address him by his first name.

"Isane says you've been exercising your division today. That would certainly explain the influx of patients." She smiled slightly, ignoring his question.

"Somebody's got to keep those idiots in shape," he said, referring, of course, to the rest of his division. He lay back again as she began her examination, soft hands running over scarred flesh. He relaxed beneath her touch and closed his eyes, opening them again when she spoke.

"You've a fairly deep gash on your arm and a slightly bruised rib. I've healed your arm and done what I can for the rib. I'd tell you to take it easy for a few days, but I know it would only fall on deaf ears," she said, removing a roll of bandages from a cabinet from the bed. The wound was healed enough, but she had to wrap it in case it reopened. Kenpachi was infamous for fighting even when injured and Unohana had known him to jump right back into a fight mere minutes after she had healed him.

"I don't have time to take it easy," he half growled. "If I took it easy, those fools would get weak." Unohana noted the absence of the usual addition of ' i like the rest of the fourth division /i .'

"Take care, Zaraki-taichou." Unohana finished bandaging his arm and stepped back from the bed, signaling that she was through.

Kenpachi swung his legs over the edge of the bed and stood, the bells in his hair making a soft jingling sound. He made it to the doorway and stopped, turning to look over his shoulder at Unohana.

"Quit calling me 'Zaraki-taichou.'" And he was gone.

"Goodbye, Kenpachi," she whispered to an empty room, letting the familiarity of his name roll over her tongue.

* * *

A/N: This is the first of what I hope to be a series of KenUno drabbles. Enjoy


	2. Pickpocket

**A/N:** Whee This is the second of my Kenpachi/Unohana drabbles. The theme for it is: Pickpocket. I sorta took it from the 100situations community on LJ. I really wanted to do the challenge, but it seemed as if the response to claims was a little behind. But you know how it is. When a muse for something hits, you got to write it _right then_. Can't wait for an answer to a claim . But the themes were shiny, so I sorta took them. I'm going to try and fulfill each theme. And here's my first!

* * *

"Mmm! Ken-chan!"

Zaraki Kenpachi merely grunted as the flying pink projectile that was his vice-captain attached herself to his left shoulder. Her cheeks were stuffed with sweets and she struggled only slightly to speak around the confections.

"Look what I've got!" She stuck a fistful of candy in his face and waved it around for emphasis.

A look of disgust crossed his face. "And who the _hell_ gave you that?" Whatever sick bastard gave the already hyperactive Yachiru that candy was going to pay.

"Nobody gave it to me! I took it from Weird-braid Lady's pockets when she wasn't looking!"

Kenpachi grunted and rolled his eyes as the small shinigami stuffed the handful of candy into her already full mouth.

"Hello, Zaraki-taichou," a calm voice said behind them. The pair turned to face the source of the voice as a single unit, the pink haired vice-captain still happily perched on the other's shoulder.

"Mmm! It's Weird-braid lady!"

Unohana smiled at Yachiru's greeting. "You'll be glad to know that Kusajishi-fukutaichou is in excellent health."

Kenpachi smirked. "Of course she is. We don't got no weaklings in our division, do we?"

"Mmm, nope!" The little shinigami chirped.

Unohana ignored the obvious jab at her division, whose members were used to being referred to as "weak" by the eleventh division. "You would do well to follow her example and come to your physicals without protest, Zaraki-taichou," she suggested pointedly.

The beastly captain snorted. "She only comes because you bribe her with candy."

Still smiling, Unohana said, "Everyone has their price, Zaraki-taichou. Even you. If only I knew what it was…" Her voice trailed off a bit. "Well, good day Zaraki-taichou, Kusajishi-fukutaichou."

She inclined her head to the pair, turned on her heel, and left.

"Weird-braid lady sure is nice, huh, Ken-chan?"

Kenpachi didn't answer, only muttering something about "_that woman_" before turning away himself and leaving.


	3. Cancer

A/N: Another short one... This theme is: Cancer. I like this one, but then there's something that kinda... I dunno. It seems like I have Ken-chan bitching about 'weakness' alot... Oh well. I promise I'm working on ome slightly long ones, though.

Oh, and thanks so much for all the kind reviews. You all really make my day.

* * *

"Here. He's yours."

The seventh seat of the fourth division watched in horror as the captain of the eleventh division dropped yet another wounded man at his feet. "Th- thank you, Zaraki-taichou," Hanatarou stuttered as he began dragging the man to the nearest bed.

But before he could get too far, Kenpachi reached out and grabbed the healer by the collar, pulling him close.

"What the hell's wrong with him?" he asked the shinigami in his grasp. "His cancer crap acting up again?" Kenpachi was referring to the occupant of a bed on the other side of the ward. It was Jyuushirou Ukitake, captain of the thirteenth division. He was in the middle of a fit of coughing, body wracked with the force. The fourth's captain, Unohana, was by his side, one hand on the man's shoulder, the other proffering him a steaming cup of tea.

"It's t- tuberculosis, Zaraki-taichou," the little healer answered.

Kenpachi released his grip on Hanatarou, who scuttled away to continue his attempt to care for the man on the floor.

"Whatever." Cancer, tuberculosis... Weren't they the same thing? They all involved coughing up blood, right? Regardless of its name, that stupid, weak disease kept Ukitake in the fourth division as often as, if not _more_ often than, Kenpachi and the rest of the eleventh division.

Kenpachi sneered at the thought of being slowed down by a few coughing fits. _Only the weak succumb to things like that_. He nearly laughed at the thought of having to spend so much time in the halls of the fourth division.

Kenpachi _hated_ coming to the fourth division. He hated the regular check-ups that were required of all shinigami. He hated lying in a hospital bed. He hated those in the fourth as well, weak as they were.

And then there was that woman… the captain. She was just frustrating.

So why did Kenpachi sometimes wish it was himself in that bed, instead of Ukitake?


End file.
